Ever since I was a girl my own mother vowed
I must find the way to power through a noble brow
I married once for love then my senses came
I must marry for the stature of my husband’s name
Onto marriage number two
I knew what I had to do
And my poor husband fell ill in a year or two
Solved problem number one, now to problem number two
His doe-eyed little girl with gentle point of view
Would I ship her off to school?
No! I told her if she stayed that she’d have to earn her keep
And so she became the maid
She was lazy!
She was crazy!
She was talking to the mice!
She was hopelessly naive, so she had to pay the price
I moved her to the attic out of sight and out of mind
I could have thrown her out, but I’m benevolent and kind
Mother, your heart’s too big for you
I knew what I had to do
After all, difficult children will take advantage of your good nature.
So you lock them up,
Throw away the key!
There’s one on every family tree
Vile too! The things she put you through!
Break their spirit so they obey!
Now they’ll do anything so say
Maybe you’d call it cruel but
Others would call it love
I ask you, is it a crime to strive for perfection in all things?
Oh no, they’re so cute when they’re little but then they grow up and just
Ruin everything !
I never wanted children
Life was better on my own
All the screaming, nagging chilled me to the bone!
But then one day I came across a flower growing free
it’s magic kept me young, so I kept it all for me!
But someone dug it up now the baby held the power
So I “borrowed” her and locked her up and hid her in a tower!
Years went by, oh!
The sacrifice and against my better judgment, I fed her once or twice
Teenagers now I know I wild eat their young
But that’s messy
Manipulation’s easily more fun
A little guilt, a lot of force, of course you have to lie
Remind them that without you, they’d shrivel up and die!
They only have themselves to blame!
If you’d been there, you’d do the same
So work them hard ’til they fall in line
There’s one way and it’s only mine
Children are lazy
But we knew what to do!
Govern them with a heart of stone
Lock them up so they’re all alone
Maybe you’d call it cruel but,
Others would call it love, tough love!
Ugh! Her own tower with a water view
and she runs away the first chance she gets!
These wretched brats think the world owes them something
But it doesn’t!
Far and wide I rule the kingdom with a heavy hand
But there was more I had in mind a greater plan
I never cared to share, so the king would have to fall
But his child blocked the way to me and “fairest of them all”
She was chubby, she was dumb and grotesquely optimistic
She need structure in her life! She wasn’t realistic
I gave her chores and took away the things that she’d enjoy
But then I caught her singing songs with birds and then a boy!
Love? Was I just sit by and wait?！
For her to take my crown? no!
She had sealed her fate!
She had to go, and so she did and you know that they say
“an apple once a day keeps your enemies away”
Don’t be fooled by their tender smile!
Give an inch and they”ll run a mile!
Our idea of a happy home
Is one where we live all alone!
Dark, depressing, desolate!
Now let’s all drink to that！
Call us “wicked” and call us “mean”
“cruel” and everything in between.
You could say it’s unjust
Turning their dreams to dust
This is what we call love