Before the game start:
T1: I am adding headshot first level because there are lots of headshots in America.
我一级加爆头了，因为美国挺多爆头的
O1: Ok then I am adding dead shot first level cuz you know, most of the shots are deadly.
那你这么说我一级加个弹无虚发吧。
1:38 - 1:54 M (Nate Higgers)
T1: I am baiting them into a trap! Come help me Barack.
我在卖，帮帮我兄弟
O1: No worry I got you.
没事我在呢
T2: What the fuck was that shot. Joe Biden can shoot better than you did. Are you gun-controlling me?
你这大狙也太马了，拜登射的都比你准。你在玩我吧？
O2: Sorry my bad. I think you got him, Donald.
我的我的，不过你应该把他杀了
T3: Of course I got him, I practiced my second amendment right every single day motherfucker.
我肯定可以把他杀了，因为我每天都在行使我的第二修正案权力。
O3: I swear to God, I’ve never missed a skillshot like that in League
我对天发誓，我在LoL里技能没这么马。
T4: What hero do you play in League
你LoL玩什么
O4: uh, Lucian.
卢锡安（奥巴马）
T5: Of course.
当然了
O5: What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
你这个“当然了”是啥意思
T6: You are just like the mirror image of Lucian, but hey, it’s okay to give your fellow Black homies some extra love, I do the same with my redneck friend Axe.
你长得就和卢锡安一样。不过没事，你对黑人更情有独钟也没问题，我也更喜欢我的红脖子兄弟斧王
O6: It doesn’t mean that I would prefer a champion just because they’re black.
我并不会因为英雄是黑人我就更喜欢他们好伐？
T7: Then why the fuck do you play Lucian?
那为啥你玩卢锡安呢？
O7: Because he’s my nigg*r
因为他是我的黑人兄弟
3:35 - 4:03 M (Gun-Control)
T1: They are falling into a trap once again.
我又卖成功了
O1: I am here for you Donald.
我在呢
T2: I don’t think I will die here.
我不觉得我会死
O2: Not today.
这回不会
T3: I am man-fighting this motherfucker. No pussy!
就是刚好吧，不带怕的
T4: You must be trolling me right? Barack. Do all Democrats hate guns or what? Joe Biden’s grandmother can shoot better than you did.
兄弟你是不是在故意玩我呢？所有的民主党都恨枪还是啥的？拜登的奶奶打的都比你打得准。
B1: Leave my grandma out of this stupid conversation, please. But yeah she probably could shoot better than this back in her days.
别提我奶，不过她年轻的时候确实比刚刚那下射的准多了。
O3: Hey, watch your mouth. I owned a gun with a kind heart. And yes, we do believe gun control is important.
你嘴巴注意点，我有一把善良的枪。并且我们民主党人确实认为管制枪支还是挺重要的
4:50 - 5:28 M (EF 5 Tornado)
O1: That tornado is more badass than Oklahoma City’s tornado every year.
刚刚那龙卷风比每年俄克拉荷马的龙卷风都厉害多了 T1: Many people do die every year because of the tornado and because Democrats do nothing.
每年会有人因为龙卷风，还有民主党人啥也不做死的
O2: Oh really? This invoker runs faster in invisible than all Republicans see climate change issues. You all become invisible when we talk about LGBTQ rights too.
是吗？这个卡尔切隐身速度比所有共和党人看到环境因素还快。共和党人看到LGBTQ的东西也隐身了。
T2: I think this timber is trapped. Use our firearm and murder him!
我觉得这个伐木机应该没点2，应该被困住了，杀了他！
O3: Republican do not shy from the gun problem at least.
不过共和党人不回避枪支问题。
T3: We do not. So you know how to use a gun when you want to kill steal?
你说的对。所以你抢人头的时候会用枪了？
O4: Shut up, I am the carry.
闭嘴，我是大哥
T4: Come on. We all know that Democrats cannot carry anything. Because you guys are too busy carrying "leftover" policies!
兄弟。我们都知道民主党人carry不了任何东西，因为你们都在carry 过气的白左政策。
0728 0742 S (Biden's Little Secret)
O1: Be careful Donald. You are low.
小心兄弟，你没什么血
T1: Come and fight me. (Puppey face)
来和我干啊！
O2: Wow, nice one Donald.
兄弟牛逼啊
T2: Thanks. Now if you excuse me I would go die under the tower. You know if this happens in Ukraine, you will be listed as missing, not dead.
谢谢，我现在去他们塔下自刎了。你知道如果在乌克兰发生这事，乌克兰会把你列为失踪，不会列为死亡吗？
O3: How is top doing, Joe?
上路怎么样了拜登？
B1: Uh, guys, I think we are getting raped at top. Ursa might become a huge problem later.
额兄弟们，我觉得上路我们被打爆了。拍拍马上无敌了。
T3: God damn it Joe, we just can’t trust you on anything.
你是真没用啊，我们真不能相信你任何事
B2: He is too big, okay? too powerful and strong.
他就是太牛逼了好吧，太强了太牛逼了。
T4: So you can’t deal with a big bad bear? Maybe we should swap lanes because this Invoker is a little boy, that should remind you of your glories.
所以你干不了一个大坏熊是吧？可能我们应该换线因为这个卡尔是个小屁孩，这个应该能让你回想起你的一些光辉岁月。
B3: Shut up Donald.
闭嘴
1745 1825 1820 M (Armalite Rifle Model 15)
O1: Let’s rock!
干！
T1: Glad you are exercising the Second Amendment rights as outlined in the United States Constitution. You are using AR-15.
很开心看见你在行使你的美利坚合众国的第二修正案权力。你现在这个是ar-15.
O2: I have to admit that sometimes it’s fun to shoot somebody.
我不得不说有的时候射别人还挺爽的。
Before 2232 2301, (Sniper died 1457 1748 1827 2020 2118 2239) (Montage)
O1: Can you stop dying Donald?
你能别死了吗
T1: Dude, people die when they were killed. What can I do?
人被杀就会死，能怎么办？
O2: They are rushing to our high ground. They are crazy!
他们现在都冲高地了。疯了吧。
T2: Not as half crazy as those feminists in China.
没中国女拳一半疯。
2400 2519 (Boss in da House)
O1: can we defend this tower?
能守塔吗
T1: We can try
我们可以试试
O2: Oh my god, I used madness before my ult.
完了，我先按了疯脸
T2: You what?
你干嘛了？
O3: I need help, Donald, code red, I’m gonna die, ok I died. where the hell are you?
帮我川宝，快帮不然要死了。好吧我死了，你在哪里？
T3: I’m shooting these motherfuckers!
我在开枪打人呢！
O4: Well, looks like you are dead as well, that’s why you have to protect your carry! We are not playing like a team!
看起来你也死了，这就是为什么你要保护大哥！我们玩的一点都不像一个团队。
T4: can you please just shut the fuck up?
你能闭肛吗？
O5: I think we lost, GG, I am not playing anymore. Why the fuck can’t I vote for surrender?
我觉得我们输了，gg。我不打了，为什么这游戏不能投降？
T5: You don’t just surrender in Dota like what you do in League or in your real life, we fight to the end, they have to step on our bodies to take down our throne!
你在这游戏里不能就投降好吗？不像LoL或者现实生活。我们打到最后一刻。他们打爆我们基地之前要踏过我们倒下的身体。
O6: That’s just a waste of time.
现在玩这个就是浪费时间了
T6: We can still win, stop whining, no one knows Dota better than I do, as long as we hold our high ground we got a chance.
我们还能赢，别叫了，没人比我更懂dota，我们守高就有机会。
(axe dies) O7: Oh my God Joe is so bad.
拜登你也太菜了。
T7: Wake up Joe, I swear to God, even the Koalas in Australia sleep less than you do.
拜登你能醒醒吗。我说真的，澳大利亚考拉每天睡觉都比你睡的少。
B1: I’m here, I’m here, what do you guys want?
我在呢我在呢，你们要我干嘛？
O8: I need advice, Joe, what should I do now?
我需要建议，你觉得我现在应该干嘛？
B2: uh, uh, uh…. you should… just go and kill them all.
额额额，我觉得吧，应该你把他们都干死了就行了。
O9: just go and kill them? simple like that?
就把他们都干死？这么简单？
B3: Yes, trust me.
是的，相信我
T8: Just do what the man says, Barack, if he makes you die, we can finally get a warrant on his house.
就照他那么做吧。如果他让你死了，我们终于可以申请个搜查令去他家看看了。
O10: Okay.
好吧
B4: What the fuck!
你有毛病吧?
O11: Ok I’m going in. Holy shit, Joe is right, I killed them, I took down the raid boss.
好吧我入场了。卧槽，拜登说对了，我把他们都干死了，大boss也死了。
T9: You democrats did not take me down yet.
boss死了？你们民主党人还没把我干死呢？
O12: That was very cringe Donald, [We will in 2024 and put you in orange.]
川宝，你这有点抽象了。
2826 2945 (Birth Certificate)
T1: Our team is going in. On a timber?
我们队伍先手伐木机？
O1: I think we lost.
我觉得我们输了。
T2: Why the negative vibe? You even lost your birth certificate, but you still made it to the top in 2012. Never ever ever give up Barack!
为什么你这么负能量？你连你出生证明都丢了，但是2012年还是当总统了。永远永远都不要放弃！
O2: I ain’t lose nothing like a birth certificate. That’s fake news.
我可没丢出生证明，假新闻好吧。
T3: Oh sure.
行吧
O3: I am waiting for you to respawn.
我等你们复活
T4: Go on timber.
干伐木机
O4: With the break, he is easy to kill.
有破坏他确实挺脆的。
3013 3046
T1: Perfect call! Let’s kill this Ursa the second time.
这个吼牛。干他第二条命。
O1: I am dealing a lot of damage
我输出真高啊
T2: Don’t let this Ursa run away!
别让他跑了！
O2: Chill man.
放松。
T3: Wow, I would say that you are at least better than Joe Biden’s grandma.
搞这么厉害干嘛呀。我现在可以说你至少比拜登的奶奶打的准了。
3212 (Pro)
T1: Wow, another perfect call. (DJ Khaled another one)
哇，又来一个这么牛的跳吼
O1: Why you got the double kill?
为什么你拿了双杀
T2: Let the professional does his job.
专业人干专业事
3337 ("No Soldier Left Behind")
O1: They saw me, how?
他们怎么看到我的？
T1: You were left behind like our soldiers were left behind in Afghanistan.
你被我们抛弃了，就像一些美国马润在阿富汗一样
O2: Yea, Joe did a terrible job.
拜登这事干的确实不行
3508 3544 (Wombo-Combo)
T1: It’s ok to give them the first racks.
给他们一路没事
T2: is this the wombo-combo?
完美团要来了吗？
O1: Wait for it. (Insert the meme)
看着吧
3650 3713
T1: You deal a lot of damage.
你伤害高啊
O1: Of course. We should get back.
当然，但是我们应该要跑了
O2: What’s this storm doing? Oh wait, the Ursa is coming.
这蓝猫在干嘛？噢，拍拍来了
T2: I am running away. And this stupid ass did not see me. (可以放一下拍拍的镜头) He is as blind as a bat.
我得跑了，然后这个拍拍没看见我。他真的和蝙蝠一样瞎。
O3: Yea as blind as a republican not seeing global warming.
确实，和共和党人看到全球变暖一样瞎
4117 4201 (Black King Bar)
O1: Yo what the fuck is that damage? I can’t fucking move! I’m buying back. Can we fight?
这伤害也太高了吧?我都动不了。我买了能打吗？
T1: Yeah, yeah, wait for Joe, he’s coming
可以可以，拜登要来了，等他
O2: ok, I’m holding my black king bar
好的，我先不开黑黄杖
T2: Please don’t say it like that.
你能别那么说吗
O3: What, why?
啥？为什么？
T3: just.. don't, (axe calls) that’s a great call, kill them Barack, drag the bear out of his grave and kill him again, and the baby invoker, kill him too!
就别那么说好吧。这跳吼牛啊，巴马把他们都干死！把这个拍拍鞭尸，把这个小卡尔也干死。
O4: wow wow wow, don’t say it like that?
等等等，别这么说？
T4: Like what, a true, proud, and patriotic American?
说什么了？我是个正星字旗老美国人了。
4244-4303 (The Greatest Speech ever)
O1: Yo, what the fuck is this light ball? How did I just die from that?
这个光球是啥，我怎么死的？
T1: Rookie mistakes, Barack, rookie mistakes.
菜鸟才会犯的错误啊，巴马，菜鸟才会犯的错误。
O2: I don't have buyback, are we lost?
我没买了，我们是不是没了？
4442 4539
O1: Guys, wait for me
等我活兄弟们。
T1: They are coming in! The enemies of the United States have penetrated the front defense and landed on our homeland, we need to mobilize every single man, woman, child and dog to fight for the freedom of our great nation! As long as I’m breathing, I will never surrender, we will never surrender! Oh shit, I’m dead, yeah we lost.
他们正在进攻！美国的敌人已经突破了前线防御，登陆了我们的祖国，我们需要调动每一个男人、女人、孩子和狗来为我们伟大的国家的自由而战！只要我还有呼吸，我绝不投降，我们绝不投降！这是我们的时刻，我们要守卫我们的土地，保卫我们的家园！干，我死了，好吧我们确实输了。
B1: Why is everybody dying?
为什么每个人都在死？
T2: that’s not on me, okay? We got a traitor! Venge swapped timber and let him get behind me, I could’ve lived to fight another day!
又不是我的问题。我们这出了个叛徒啊。这个复仇之魂换了个伐木机在我后面，我本来可以活的。
O2: I will save America.
我会拯救美国。
T3: Holy shit, you are a true American hero, Barack
搞这么厉害干嘛啊？巴马你这是美国队长啊
O3: I’m not done yet.
我还没完呢
T4: yeah, kill that bastard Storm, he is a deserter, if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from the Russians, is that you never let a deserter escape.
把那个蓝猫干死好吧，他就是个逃兵。如果我从俄罗斯那边学到了啥，大概就是不能让任何逃兵逃跑吧。
O4: Boom, and a fucking no-scope, god damn!
嘣，然后还是个盲狙，我太牛了。
4848 5140 (D-DAY)
T1: Are we doing this boys? The greatest comeback ever in the history of Whitehouse doto?
我们是不是翻了。这是白宫dota最牛翻盘吧。
O1: This reminds me of D-Day, where are the Germans?
这个让我想起来了诺曼底登陆，德国人在哪？
T2: they are coming, watch out private Barack!
德国人来了，列兵巴马小心。
O2: I will not die today, until the bullet of democracy is served into the enemies’ brains, I will not rest.
在民主之弹穿透敌人的脑海之前，我绝不会倒下，我绝不会停息。
T3: Holy shit you just smoked that motherfucker, I think we won!
兄弟太狠了，你把他完爆了。
[fast-forward to 50:20~30]
O3: There it is, the last push, enemies are still resisting our offense, I hope I can use drones in this game.
来了，最后一波了。就差最后一步了，敌人还在顽抗我们的攻势。我真希望能用无人机啊。
T4: at least there are no innocent civilians in Dota.
反正dota里也没无辜的平民。
O4: Hey that is called collateral damage
那个叫做附加损害好吗？
B1: Guys shut up there are coming!
闭嘴吧兄弟们，他们来了。
T5: Nice call Joe, Kill the Ursa!
这个吼牛啊，把拍拍杀了！
O5: Kill the ice bitch first!
把那个冰婊砸先干了。
T6: Be careful of the sunstrike!
大天火小心。
O6: I got him. Timber? Oh shit, help, guys! I’m buying back.
卡尔死了 。伐木机？完了我死了，我买了。
T7: They’re all dead, we won!
他们都死了，我们赢了。
O7: I can’t believe we did this! Hey, come to my place and we’ll have bourbon to celebrate the greatest victory we ever had so far!
这也能赢吗？兄弟们，来我家我们搞点波旁庆祝一下这个伟大的胜利吧。
T8: Hey Joe can you press the red button in front of your desk? I remember I designed it to deliver the finest drink just for a nice game win like this.
拜登你能不能按下你桌子上红色的按钮？我记得那个是给你搞最好喝的饮料的。
B2: Okay…Let’s see…wow, I got a vanilla ice cream!
我看看，哇来了个香草冰淇淋。
T9: Oh, fuck off Joe, you changed it for a goddamn ice cream delivery? Do you have anything else important in your life except ice cream?
你有病吧，你把他改成了冰淇淋快递按钮？这个世界上除了冰淇淋你还喜欢啥？
B3: Yeah, your mama.
有啊，你妈妈。
